Author’s note: Two heads are better than one. When writing this, we show alternating points of view. As you read, you’ll see both Laura and Keith’s recollections.
Read Part 1 first to start start the journey with us.
Don't miss Part 2 for the second installment of the adventure.
Loving Love’s
Keith: As we headed into the night, I knew I had to balance my capabilities with my wish to lighten the load for Laura. It would have been too easy for me to carry on driving an extra 30, 60, or even 90 minutes or more. But I knew each extra slice of time I tried to save for Laura on her schedule would take that little bit more out of me. That was something that I decided we couldn’t afford on this trip where so much was going to rely on each of us doing our part and recognizing when enough was enough. The moment I turned off I-40 into the Love’s forecourt, I had mixed feelings, but my logical head kept telling me, “I’ll need to to be strong later to do the next three hours, so I needed to sleep after this stop.”
Teamwork
Laura: I’ve always been a big collaborator. Those who have worked with me know I value each person’s opinion and point of view because diversity matters. What we undertook was a huge decision that was made very quickly...who drives 1,750 miles in 29 hours, essentially non-stop, when their flights get cancelled? During the time I drove and Keith slept, I had many hours to reflect on how, as a couple, we’ve collaborated on a lot of projects like our family trips and making the documentary film, “The Filipino-American Dream Fulfilled.” We also took on challenging topics like social justice and anti-Asian hate. This trip was like these projects in that it required both of us to play a part to get to our destination safely and on time. However, it was different because I tackled it like we were on a mission together. A mission that took physical and mental grit from both of us. There was also an unselfishness that bubbled beneath the surface…and a balance that required honesty and trust.
Immense Space, Dusty Terrain, and Yesteryear
Keith: As the views and vistas slowly shifted past our windows, I began to reflect on what I was seeing. Before me was a new America that I had only seen on the telly back in England when I was growing up. The immense space, the dusty terrain, the billboards, and signs of yesteryear brought me to a realization – this was an America that I thought only existed in movies. I had seen the vast expanses of countryside in sci-fi films such as “Them!” and westerns such as “El Dorado.” However, I had not encountered it in real life when visiting my brother near San Francisco, or for work in the New England area and Chicago. This was different and I felt transported. I thought about how these folks lived and how they gathered with neighbors and where their closest neighbors lived. I was shocked because growing up in Fleet, our neighbors were a stone’s throw away. What I saw during parts of this journey was like the modern-day Walton family in rural Virginia.
European City-Boy Eyes
There was so much distance and land between the houses and to my European city-boy eyes, it looked like there was so little to do. Entertainment was surely going to be different, and their expectations as well. While driving the route we had set out on, I tried to imagine what it would be like to not go any further, to stop where we were and live in cattle country and sound like John Wayne. I fantasized about staying in this different world and seeing how it worked and the lifestyle it provided. In my many adventures it was one thing I always enjoyed doing – seeing how the local environment contributed to and shaped the food, lifestyle, and culture of different places. I can see how my ancestors that yearned for something different came to America.
Rule Follower
Laura: I drove what seemed like a good number of the dark stretches, which I ended up really liking because of the quiet and calm of the night. The right lane was my friend, especially in the states like Oklahoma and Arkansas where state law says to drive in the left lane only when passing someone. Signs indicated a hefty fine and ticket for not following the rules. As always, the rule follower in me obeyed and only drove five miles over the speed limit. My mind wandered to calling my 76-year-old mother who was home in Raleigh. I hadn’t reached out to her when we left Raleigh. I worried that she would fret about our impromptu cross-country trek. I contemplated when to call and decided that I’d bite the bullet when we got closer to Albuquerque. No need to worry her unnecessarily until we got there safely.
Drive, Rest, Potty, Repeat
Keith: Our bodies hurt from alternately sitting alert and driving for three hours and sleeping on a reclined seat while the other took the wheel. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get comfortable. That, coupled with hangover-like headaches because of being in a confined space for such a long time, pushed us to get to Albuquerque sooner than expected.
Keith: Although the cycle of drive, rest, fill the gas tank, eat something healthy, and bathroom breaks was becoming familiar, the miles melted away under the constantly turning fresh tires that we’d recently had changed before our trip. The changing countryside was testament to the distance we’d travelled and the fantastic feeling of “we’re actually going to do this.” We were caught in a mystic middle world of feeling the fatigue and riding wave of elation – maybe the elation was due to fatigue too?
Discretion: The Better Part of Valor
Keith: After crossing into New Mexico, we felt the destination come ever closer.
We had spoken during the trip of visiting Santa Fe, New Mexico’s capital, at some point and thought Saturday afternoon would be good. As we looked more at the details of what it would take, a detour of about one hour and a very late arrival at the hotel in Albuquerque, we decided discretion was the better part of valor and set our Waze destination to Albuquerque. A shower and a meal, with no additional driving right after, was very appealing. We drove by the exit to Santa Fe with a pang of missed opportunity, but like so many choices we’d made on the way, we knew it was the right one. We continued to Albuquerque knowing that Santa Fe was in our future.
With Age Comes Wisdom
Laura: I woke with cotton mouth and in need of a toothbrush. Downing a few gulps of water, I felt brave enough to call my Tiger Momma Gloria. I hit the call button on my phone, and it rang three times. She answered. “Hello mom, it’s me…funny thing happened to us on the way to Albuquerque,” I said. My mom, Gloria, was surprisingly calm after I told her we didn’t fly, but instead drove our car to our destination. She said it sounded like a fun adventure that probably was somehow meant to be. I was taken aback by her response. After thinking back to the 1970’s when our family drove from Norfolk, Virginia, to Travis Air Force Base in California, I smiled.
The Aloha State
Laura: My dad was in the U.S. Navy, and we got orders to move to Hawaii. My sister and I sat in the back of our car during the gas crisis of the early 1970’s and we travelled for at least five days across the country to California where we then boarded a double-decker plane and flew to Oahu where I attended Pearl Harbor Elementary School. These memories flooded my mind as Gloria talked about that trip and how we did what we needed to do as a family to get to California en route to the Aloha State. Hearing her recall what my first cross-country trip was as a five-year-old made me feel warm inside. She didn’t wag her finger at me long distance and scold me as a grown up for not fully planning the trip.
Soul Food
Keith: After arriving at the hotel, we exited the car and gave a different type of stretch than we’d done at each fuel, food, or swap-stop. Those were about unclenching the muscles and preparing for the next leg. This was more about accepting the fresh air, inhaling Albuquerque, and soaking up the late afternoon rays of the sun that had circled us on the journey. It was as reviving as it was soothing. We opened the back of the car and took out our suitcases. I was still somewhat surprised to see how small and few our bags were. We had, after all, packed for a flight and not
a road trip. With my plan of returning to Raleigh two days earlier than Laura, I had packed a smaller suitcase. This made it light work and we made our excited way into the beautiful hotel which was billed as having both ancient and modern architecture. Once in our room, we washed and changed. It was quite a strange feeling, but neither of us was tired. The expectation of all the amazing experiences that Albuquerque had to offer was giving us renewed vigor. We set our course to El Pinto, a stalwart restaurant of Albuquerque since 1962. It has grown over the years from a small restaurant with just a few tables, to now sitting over 1,200 food fans at a time.
You Drove?
Laura: The next day, I attended the first of several days of work meetings in Albuquerque. Somewhat in a daze during the first night meeting with my co-workers on Sunday, I was energized and refreshed after sleeping in a bed for the first time after nearly 2,000 miles in a car. My outlook was positive, and I was ready to get on with the week’s work. During small chit chat prior to, during, and after meetings and presentations, I spoke with colleagues who were amazed at the fact that we didn’t fly to Albuquerque, but drove in such a short time. For me, it was something unusual, but part of my DNA. It was more than grit, it was stamina, dedication, and finding a solution to a problem that smacked me in the face. In public relations and corporate communications for over two decades, I’ve learned to have a back-up plan. You typically have contingencies and think through the “What if scenario?”
Stay Tuned!
Laura: Having a dedicated, loving, and loyal husband like Keith made the trip fun and easy. Okay, maybe being in public relations makes sentences like that one just roll off my tongue too easy. Seriously though, it was a cool trip that tested us, bonded us more strongly, and made us think….hmmm, when’s the next trip? Stay tuned for the adventures of “Tiger Momma and the British Hockey Dad.”
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